Oh, great. A Taurus has slowly, heavily lumbered into my sacred space. Let me guess: you are currently chewing on something, refusing to budge from your favorite chair, or complaining…
Author: psychicmeowmeow@gmail.com
Virgo Weekly Horoscope July 19th – 25th, 2026
Oh, joy. A Virgo. The zodiac’s resident clipboard-holder, arriving right on time with a sour look on your face and a mental list of everything I’m doing wrong. Let me…
Why Senator Lindsey Graham was the Ultimate Political Cat Toy
Greetings, my starry-eyed kittens. I’ve been staring into the cosmic litter box of Washington D.C., and today, my third eye is fixated on a particularly shiny, ever-spinning object: Senator Lindsey…
The President’s Primetime Address: It’s Time to Take the Keys Away From Grandpa
The moon hummed low as cameras glowed and voices crossed the night,A nation’s ears turned toward the screen to weigh each word in flight.My whiskers say that echoes fade, but…
Parasitic Outbreak Linked to Taylor Farms Lettuce Supplied to Taco Bell
My whiskers twitched: “Wash well,” I purred, “when leafy omens call,”A tiny hitch can ripple wide through kitchens, carts, and all.May careful hands and kinder luck restore each bite’s delight—Signed,…
Kris Jenner Announces Death of Her Mother, Mary Jo ‘MJ’ Shannon
The crystal bowl gave one soft mew before the dawn turned gray,For MJ’s pawprints linger still where love won’t fade away.Kris keeps every purr of time beyond what fate allows—The…
Norah O’Donnell Reveals Next Career Move After ‘CBS Evening News’ Exit
I watched the newsroom stars rearrange their patient light.One anchor leaves the desk, yet sails to fresher sight.Careers, dear kittens, molt like moons that shed their silver hue—Psychic Meow Meow…
Red Robin Shuts Down Restaurants, Targets 70 Closings
I sniffed the fries; the future tasted bittersweet and thin.Seventy candles flickered where the hungry once came in.Even the Bottomless basket meets the silence, soon or late—Psychic Meow Meow purrs:…
Psychic Meow Meow’s Review of Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey
I purred, “This voyage loops through fate and foam—how odd!”Each hero chased himself, while gods just yawned and pawed.Nolan herds the stars like laser dots I almost caught…Four ghostly paws…
The Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak Is About to Get Way Sh*ttier
My whiskers twitch at rumbles no wise litter box can tame,The winds foretell a comic curse that lives up to its name.Keep soap close by and sip with care when…
House Passes Bipartisan Bill to Make Daylight Saving Time Permanent
I paw the clocks that chase the sun and hear tomorrow chime,The humans dream of holding fast one steady stretch of time.But every hour has its tail—it flicks, it bends,…
Wildfire Smoke Spreads Across the Northeast as Temperatures Spike
I sniff gray omens drifting where hot summer breezes roam,The sky wears ash instead of blue above each hurried home.Yet every smoke-veiled dawn still hides a clearer day in store—Guard…