Psychic Meow Meow
Aries
Capricorn
Listen up, humans. I’ve been peering into the cosmic litter box again, and I’ve found a real heavy-hitter disaster: the Ram and the Sea-Goat. This is a collision between Mars and Saturn—karmic enemies who don’t have a single ounce of “lightness” between them. Here is the Psychic Meow Meow report on this difficult duo.
The Bedroom Blockage
This is a very tough combination for sexual vibes. Saturn puts way too much pressure on Mars, which usually results in a total lack of desire or feeling incompetent in bed. It’s like a relationship triggered by an unconscious need to be restricted. By the time Aries finally finds a balance, Capricorn has usually lost interest and energy entirely. They might be insanely attracted to each other, but their differences usually keep them at a safe distance.
• Intimacy Score: 5%
The “All or Nothing” Trust
Surprisingly, these two actually trust each other. They are both “all or nothing” types, so betrayal is rare, even when they’re fighting about everything else. The problem is they take this trust for granted and forget to treasure the bond they actually have.
• Trust Score: 99%
The Ego Battle
Unless they are talking about work goals, career achievements, or exercise, they have almost nothing to talk about. Capricorn thinks Aries is impulsive and “stupid,” while Aries thinks Capricorn is a boring, heartless selfish-cat who only cares about being “useful”. They can get stuck in a pointless ego battle until they’re both too tired to ever date anyone again.
• Intellect Score: 20%
Zero Understanding
We shouldn’t even call this section “emotions”—it’s really about a total lack of understanding. They both fall in love with a false image of the other person and then spend the whole relationship trying to change them. They are too stubborn and narrow-minded to just accept who the other person actually is.
• Emotions Score: 1%
Running vs. Working
They both value independence and honesty, but they have unrealistic expectations of each other. Capricorn doesn’t understand why Aries wants to go running at 6:00 AM, and Aries doesn’t understand why Capricorn spends all night on “boring” work. Their only hope is to do the same physical activity at the same time every day—Aries brings the energy, and Capricorn brings the endurance.
• Values Score: 60%
• Shared Activities Score: 40%
The Final Purr
This relationship feels like a competition to see who can ruin it first. They’ll both probably feel lousy and be relieved when it finally ends. Their only chance is unconditional respect and staying out of each other’s business.
Total Incompatibility: 62%
