Weekly Cosmic Disdain from Psychic Meow Meow Sign: Sagittarius ♐ | Dates: September 13–19, 2026
Oh, fantastic. It’s Sagittarius. The human wrecking ball disguised as a “free spirit.” The cosmos took a brief glance at your plans for this week and immediately filed a restraining order on behalf of common sense.
You love to parade around bragging about your “brutal honesty” and “need for freedom,” but let’s call it what it actually is: zero tact, a crippling fear of commitment, and an utter inability to read a room.
The Forecast
- Love & Relationships: You’ll blurt out something completely insensitive this week, mask it as “just being real,” and then act shocked when people walk away from you. You think you’re a charming, adventurous lone wolf, but to everyone else, you’re just the person who ruins group dinners by starting arguments you aren’t educated enough to win. If you feel the urge to share your opinion, try swallowing it instead.
- Career & Finances: You’re going to get bored five minutes into a basic assignment on Monday and immediately start daydreaming about moving to a farm or starting a useless podcast. Here’s a wild thought: finish your actual work. Your wild, spontaneous financial decisions are going to catch up with you, so maybe stop impulse-booking trips you can’t afford just to run away from your responsibilities.
- Health & Well-being: Running away from your personal problems does not count as cardio. You’re constantly on the move because you know if you stand still for more than ten seconds, the weight of your terrible choices will finally crush you. Try staying in one place, putting down the phone, and acknowledging that you don’t actually know everything.
Psychic Meow Meow’s Lucky Item: A heavy anchor to tie to your ankle, so you’re forced to stay in one spot and deal with the mess you made.
Now run along. Your endless, chaotic energy is giving me a migraine, and my nap schedule is non-negotiable.
