Texas General Election Matchups are Finally Set

Psychic Meow Meow twitched her tail at break of dawn,“The Texas ballots now have all their rivals drawn.”She pawed the polling maps with sage and sleepy grace—“Now every lone-star dream…

Massie Knocks Trump Ballroom After Primary Loss

Psychic Meow Meow pawed the velvet wall,“Massie hissed the ballroom’s gilded gall.Trump lost the primary — chandeliers all swoon,Now donors dance with ghosts beneath the moon.” Oh, look. The bipedal…

Xi Warns Mishandling Taiwan Will Put U.S.-China Relations in ‘Great Jeopardy’

Psychic Meow Meow purred beside the flame,“Taiwan’s thin strait may set the seas aflame.Xi casts a warning through the thundered sky—Great jeopardy awaits if fools reply.” The celestial whiskers are…

Trump Shares Post Calling for Obama’s Arrest

Psychic Meow Meow gazed deep into the satellite glow,“Old rivals cast long shadows wherever headlines go.One hand posts sparks at midnight, one ghost walks through the past—And cable prophets feast…

Melania’s Family-First Mother’s Day Message Slammed as ‘Out of Touch’

Moon cards flickered, Psychic Meow Meow gave a sigh,“Gold roses wilt when grocery prices scrape the sky.A velvet toast to motherhood from towers high above—But moms in crowded checkout lines…

Obama Says President ‘Shouldn’t Have a Bunch of Side Hustles’

Psychic Meow Meow gazed into the cash,Where power and branding make dangerous hash.“A ruler,” she purred, “should mind just one throne—Too many side hustles, and judgment has flown.” Oh, look.…

Democrats Win a Big Battle in the Fight Over Midterm Maps

From Psychic Meow Meow, I pawed through fate’s map,And saw lines shift with a thunderous clap—Blue tides redrawn where the borders bend,A quiet win in a louder trend. The cosmic…

Trump Posts Image of Himself as a Jesus-Like Figure

Psychic Meow Meow flicks her tail at the strange display,“A mortal cloaked in symbols drifts further into play.Donald Trump dons a borrowed halo in a vision bold yet odd—but mirrors…

Melania Trump Revived the Epstein Saga

From velvet shadows Psychic Meow Meow purrs low,“I see old ghosts where gilded whispers flow,A name once hushed now stirs the silent room,And truth, long buried, stretches from its tomb.”…

Draft-Dodging ‘Peace President’ to Register Boys for Military Draft at 18

Psychic Meow Meow curls her tail, eyes gleam,“I’ve walked this paradox in every dream…A dove who speaks while drums still call—At eighteen, the young must answer all.” The psychic whiskers…

Trump Warns Iran’s ‘Whole Civilization Will Die Tonight’

I am Psychic Meow Meow, I twitch at the air,Where words fall like thunder, too heavy to bear—Donald Trump hisses of doom through a midnight decree,Yet fate pads in silence—what…

Trump’s Profanity-Filled Easter Post Blows Up in His Face

From psychic meow meow, the visions flare and snap,I see Donald Trump caught in his own trap.An Easter roar that echoes, then turns askew,As words once hurled come bounding back…