🐾 Psychic Meow Meow’s Weekly Misfortune
♒ Aquarius (October 25 – October 31)
The Card Drawn: The Void (or just your inbox at 5:01 PM)
Oh, look who decided to grace the universe with their presence. An Aquarius. The “misunderstood genius” of the zodiac who thinks having three unfinished DIY projects and a opinion on niche indie music makes them a visionary.
Here is what the cosmic cat litter box has in store for you this week:
- The Reality Check: You’re going to spend the first half of the week convinced that your latest “groundbreaking” idea is going to change the world. It won’t. It’s just a slightly worse version of something that already exists, and your friends are only nodding along because they’re too exhausted to argue with you.
- Social Life: You’ll probably ghost three people who actually care about you because you felt “suffocated,” only to spend Thursday night staring at the ceiling wondering why nobody ever truly gets you. (Spoiler: They don’t get you because you act like a puzzle with missing pieces.)
- Halloween Outlook: October 31st is approaching, which means you’ll spend four hours putting together a costume so obscure that you’ll have to explain it to literally every person at the party. Enjoy explaining your high-concept metaphor while standing alone by the snack table eating stale chips.
Psychic Meow Meow’s Sacred Advice: Stop trying to be the main character in a movie nobody paid to see. Sit down, answer your text messages, and stop pretending you’re above basic human interaction.
Hiss. Now run along before I knock your favorite mug off the counter.
