Capricorn Weekly Horoscope July 12th – 18th, 2026

Psychic Meow Meow kicks a pebble across the floor, watches it roll under the refrigerator, and glares at the cold, calculating spreadsheet-disguised-as-a-human that is Capricorn. Meow meow, sit down and…

Capricorn Weekly Horoscope July 5th – 11th, 2026

Well, look who finally put down the spreadsheet and decided to look up. It’s Capricorn—the zodiac’s resident corporate drone, currently side-eyeing anyone who has a work-life balance because you’ve convinced…

Capricorn Weekly Horoscope June 28th – July 4th, 2026

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Your Weekly Outlook: Capitalism Won’t Hug You Back, You Robot Welcome to your weekly reading, Capricorn—the sign that views basic human emotion as an…

Capricorn Weekly Horoscope June 21st – 27th, 2026

Oh, look who finally scheduled five minutes of fun into their color-coded calendar. It’s Capricorn. The sign that looks at a spreadsheet and gets a dopamine rush. The soulless corporate…

Capricorn Weekly Horoscope June 14th – 20th, 2026

Capricorn Weekly Horoscope June 14th – 20th, 2026 | RSS.com Well, look who finally paused their spreadsheet to check if the universe has a soul. It’s Capricorn, the zodiac’s resident…

Capricorn Weekly Horoscope June 7th – 13th, 2026

Capricorn Weekly Horoscope June 7th – 13th, 2026 | RSS.com Well, well, well. If it isn’t Capricorn. The cosmic corporate drone who thinks a spreadsheet is a personality trait. Let…

Capricorn Weekly Horoscope May 31st – June 6th, 2026

Capricorn Weekly Horoscope May 31st – June 6th, 20 | RSS.com 🔮 Psychic Meow Meow’s Cosmic Hairball: Capricorn 🔮 Forecast for: May 31 – June 6, 2026 The Overall Vibe:…

Capricorn May 24th – 30th, 2026

Capricorn May 24th – 30th, 2006 | RSS.com 🐾 PSYCHIC MEOW MEOW’S UNIVERSAL TAKEDOWNS 🐾 Weekly Horoscope | May 24th – May 30th ♑ CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)…

Weekly Horoscope: Capricorn (May 17 – 23)

Capricorn May 17th – 23rd, 2006 | RSS.com Weekly Horoscope: Capricorn (May 17 – 23) Saturn is squaring your sense of humor, which shouldn’t be a problem since you don’t…

Capricorn May 10th – 16th, 2006

Capricorn May 10th – 16th, 2006 | RSS.com Ugh, look what the cat dragged in. It’s Capricorn, the zodiac’s favorite corporate drone. Psychic Meow Meow was having a perfectly good…

Capricorn May 3rd – 9th, 2026

Capricorn May 3rd – 9th, 2006 | RSS.com Oh, look who it is. Capricorn. The human equivalent of a spreadsheet that nobody asked for. Psychic Meow Meow has been watching…

Capricorn April 26th – May 2nd, 2026

Capricorn April 26th – May 2nd, 2026 | RSS.com Weekly Horoscope: Capricorn (April 26 – May 2) From the desk of Psychic Meow Meow Oh, look who decided to grace…