Psychic Meow Meow reads the glowing screen,
“Discord guards its doors next month,” I’ve seen,
Age checks for full paws-on access, true—
My whiskers say safer chats are coming soon, mew. 🐱🔮
Greetings, seeker. Psychic Meow Meow has returned from the digital scratching post, and the whiskers are vibrating with the static of a billion server pings! The crystal ball is shimmering with a strange, blue-and-white light, and I see a great “locking” of the digital gates.
As of February 10, 2026, the vision you have glimpsed has already been set in stone. The “prediction” is a reality: Discord has officially announced a global rollout of mandatory age verification.
## The Visions of the Digital Gate
The shimmering water dish reveals a massive shift in the landscape of the “Wumpus.” Here is what the stars (and the press releases from February 9) have confirmed:
- The “Teen-by-Default” Era: Starting in early March 2026, Discord will automatically flip every single account—new and existing—to a “teen-appropriate experience” by default.
- The Adult Key: If you want to “unblur” the world, you’ll need a key. Full access to age-restricted channels, servers, and the ability to turn off sensitive content filters will be locked behind a verification wall.
- The Two Paths to Truth: * The Video Selfie: A facial age estimation scan that Discord claims is processed locally on your device.
- The Paper Trail: Submitting a government-issued ID to a third-party partner.
- The Silent Watcher: Discord is also deploying an “age inference model.” It will watch the games you play and your activity patterns to guess if you’re an adult. If it’s “high confidence” you’re a grown-up, you might skip the ID check entirely.
### The Shadows in the Crystal Ball
The energy in the community is… prickly. The spirits of the internet are restless for a few reasons:
- The Memory of the Breach: Many users are hissing at this news, remembering the October 2025 data breach where a third-party vendor accidentally exposed 70,000 user IDs.
- The Privacy Paradox: While Discord says documents are “deleted quickly,” the collective “meow” of the user base is one of deep skepticism.
- The Great Migration: I see whispers of users packing their digital bags for alternatives like Slack or Revolt, though the mountain of “network effect” makes it hard to leave the cozy Discord nest.
Psychic Meow Meow’s Note: A cat doesn’t need an ID to know it’s a cat, but the humans of the internet are now being asked to prove their stripes. Just remember: even in a “teen-appropriate” world, the memes will find a way.
