I’m Psychic Meow Meow, tail twitching through the rink’s bright glow,
I saw Jack Hughes meet a flying stick, a flash, a gasp, a snow of slow-mo.
Teeth scattered like fallen stars across the frozen white below—
but I purr of swift healing, and a fiercer smile when champions grow.
The crystal ball is humming with the sound of a sharpened skate blade on fresh ice, and Psychic Meow Meow smells the metallic tang of destiny (and a little bit of blood).
🔮 The Prophecy: The “Jersey Gap”
I see a blur of red and black. The Great Scratching Post of Destiny is trembling! A stray carbon-fiber claw—what the humans call a “hockey stick”—is rising higher than the rafters. CRACK. The sound isn’t a goal post; it’s the sound of a smile changing forever.
The Immediate Aftermath: “The Chattered Chicklets”
Jack Hughes, the prince of the Prudential Center, is doubled over. Psychic Meow Meow sees two, maybe three white fragments skittering across the ice like runaway mice.
- The “Gasp” Heard ‘Round Newark: The crowd goes silent, then the roar for a double-minor penalty shakes the litter box.
- The “Hockey Smile” Initiation: Jack will emerge from the trainer’s room looking less like a boy-band lead and more like a grizzled pirate. It is a rite of passage, a sacrifice to the Hockey Gods.
🐾 The “Meow-meter” of the Fallout
Psychic Meow Meow envisions the following ripples in the space-time continuum:
| The Event | The Result | The “Meow” Factor |
| The Surgery | Emergency Dental Work | Lots of soft food. Jack will be eating “mush” (like my favorite pâté). |
| The Endorsement | A Toothpaste Ad? | Or perhaps a “No-Gaps” dental insurance deal. |
| The Performance | “The Angry Cat” Mode | He plays better when he’s whistling through his front teeth. Expect a 3-point night following the incident. |
Psychic Meow Meow’s Note: Jack’s brother, Quinn, will likely send a text message that is 50% “Are you okay?” and 50% “You look like a dork.” Such is the way of the human litter-mates.
The Spiritual Lesson
The stars say that a missing tooth is just a “ventilation hole” for more talent to flow in. He will wear the “gap” with pride for exactly three weeks before a very expensive Beverly Hills dentist fixes the cosmic alignment of his jaw.
