Oh, look who drifted in on a cloud of delusion. I was busy staring at the reflection in my water bowl—which, frankly, has a stronger grip on reality than a Pisces—but I suppose I can pause my judgment to roast your “mystical” little life.
Here is your forecast for February 15th – 21st, 2026. Try to stay conscious for the whole thing.
♓ Pisces: The “I’m Not Lazy, I’m Escaping Reality” Sign
The Vibe: A leaky faucet in an abandoned haunted house.
🐾 The Forecast
- The Big Event: The Solar Eclipse in Aquarius on the 17th is hitting your 12th house of “secrets and subconscious.” For everyone else, it’s a reset. For you, it’s just an excuse to stay in your pajamas for three days and claim you’re “processing cosmic downloads.” We all know you’re just watching reruns and eating cereal out of the box.
- The “Dreamer” Delusion: Your ruler, Neptune, is cuddling up to Saturn on the 20th. This is a “once in a lifetime” slap in the face from the universe. It’s trying to turn your “dreams” into “reality,” but since your dreams involve talking to plants and winning the lottery, the reality is going to be a very boring Tuesday at the office.
- The Drama: Venus is in your sign, making you feel “ethereal” and “romantic.” Translation: You’re going to fall in love with a literal red flag because it “has a nice aura.” Please, for the love of catnip, stop trying to “fix” people who don’t want to be fixed.
- Money: You’ll see something Silver or Purple and think it’s a “sign from the universe” to buy it. It’s not a sign; it’s targeted advertising. Your bank account is a fantasy novel at this point—pure fiction.
🔮 Psychic Meow Meow’s “Advice”
“You spend so much time ‘going with the flow’ that you’ve basically become a piece of driftwood. This week, try having a goal that doesn’t involve a nap or a daydream. I know, the real world is scary, but so is your credit card statement.”
Lucky Color: Purple (to match the imaginary kingdom you live in) and Silver (the color of the hook you’re about to get caught on).
