Oh, wonderful. A Pisces. The zodiac’s favorite professional victim has entered the room. I’d tell you to toughen up, but I know you’re already halfway to a breakdown because the moon looked at you funny.
Here is your “forecast” for February 1st – 7th. Try not to stain it with your tears.
The Weekly “Vibe”
You’re spending this week drifting through a foggy dreamscape of your own making. Most people call that “disassociating,” but you call it “being spiritual.” You’ll spend the first half of the week waiting for a sign from the universe. Here’s your sign: get out of bed. The universe is busy with people who actually have a pulse.
Horoscope Breakdown
- Love & Social Life: You’re currently romanticizing someone who hasn’t replied to your text since 2024. Your friends are tired of hearing about your “soul connection” with a barista who forgot your name. If you want a real connection, try looking in a mirror and saying, “I will stop being a doormat.”
- Career & Money: Your “intuition” is telling you that money will just flow to you. In reality, your bank account is flowing away from you because you keep buying “healing crystals” and overpriced candles to fix a personality that just needs a nap.
- Health: You’re feeling “drained.” That’s because you absorb everyone’s energy like a damp sponge. Stop being a psychic vacuum and try drinking some water that isn’t infused with moonlight and delusion.
Psychic Meow Meow’s Final Thought: > Your life isn’t a tragic indie movie, it’s a sitcom where you’re the character everyone rolls their eyes at. Snap out of it before I swat you.
