Psychic Meow Meow’s “The Truth Hurts” Horoscope
Sagittarius | February 8 – 14, 2026
The General “Vibe” (A Hot Air Balloon with a Leak)
Oh great, the “philosopher” of the zodiac is here. The week kicks off with Venus squaring Uranus on February 8th, which is going to make your already annoying need for “freedom” reach insufferable levels. You’ll feel “caged” by things like “responsibilities” and “basic hygiene.” You’re convinced you need a grand adventure to find yourself, but have you tried finding the floor of your bedroom first? You’re not a nomad; you’re just someone who hates being told what to do.
Career & Money: The “Expert” Who Knows Nothing
Mercury is hitting your communication sector, making you even more prone to “mansplaining” (regardless of your gender) things you only half-understand. On February 11th, Mercury conjoins the North Node, giving you “visionary ideas.” Translation: You’re going to pitch a plan that is 100% inspiration and 0% logistics. Financially, you’re tempted to gamble on a “sure thing.” Don’t. Your “intuition” for money is currently about as reliable as a cardboard umbrella. By the weekend, stop acting like you’re too “big picture” for the details. Someone has to do the work while you’re busy being a “visionary.”
Love & Relationships: Foot-in-Mouth Disease
With Venus entering Pisces on Feb 10th, you’re suddenly feeling “soft and sentimental.” It’s a bad look on you. You’ll try to be romantic but will inevitably say something “brutally honest” that ruins the mood. If you’re in a relationship, your partner doesn’t want your “honest feedback” on their life choices right now—they want you to be a decent human being. If you’re single, your “honesty” is currently indistinguishable from being a jerk. By Valentine’s Day, Saturn enters Aries, putting a damper on your fun. It’s a “reality check” for your dating life: maybe you’re single because you treat people like pit stops on your “journey.”
Health: Running from Problems isn’t Cardio
The stars suggest “thigh and hip tension.” Probably because you’re constantly trying to bolt for the door whenever things get “too real.” You’ll feel “bursting with energy” mid-week, but you’ll likely waste it on something pointless, like arguing with strangers on the internet about a country you’ve never visited. Try “grounding.” And no, walking barefoot to the fridge doesn’t count as “connecting with the Earth.”
Psychic Meow Meow’s Final Word: “You’re so busy looking at the horizon that you keep tripping over the stuff right in front of you. This week, try to stay in one place for more than twenty minutes without complaining about ‘the vibes.’ Now, move—you’re blocking my view of the bird feeder.”
