Oh, look who wandered in. It’s Sagittarius, the zodiac’s favorite “unfiltered” disaster. You’re the person who tells the “brutal truth” and then acts shocked when nobody wants to sit next to you at lunch. Here is your forecast for March 8th–14th. Try to stay in one place long enough to read it.
The General Vibe: “Unearned Confidence”
The universe is currently trying to teach you about “boundaries,” a concept you usually treat like a suggestion on a speed limit sign. On March 8th, your ruler, Jupiter, is finally shaking off its retrograde slumber in Cancer. This should be “good news,” but for you, it just means your ego is inflating even faster than your credit card debt. You’ll feel like you’re on top of the world, but check to see if you’re actually just standing on a pile of unfinished chores.
Life Categories (A Series of Bold Mistakes)
- Career & “Expansion”: You’re currently in a “visionary” phase, which is just code for “annoying everyone with your unsolicited opinions.” On Wednesday (the 11th), you might feel a surge of productivity. Don’t waste it by starting three new businesses you’ll quit by April. Focus on the job you actually have before they realize they can replace you with an automated email responder.
- Finances: Venus and Saturn are doing a little dance in your house of “Speculative Risks.” Translation: Stop gambling. Whether it’s actual stocks or just “betting” that you can make it to the gas station on an empty tank, you’re going to lose. You have an eye for shiny things right now—specifically silver tech gadgets or “vintage” junk—but your bank account is currently screaming for mercy. Put the card away.
- Relationships: You’re feeling “independent,” which is your favorite way of saying “I’m going to be flakey and ignore my responsibilities.” If you’re partnered, try checking in before you book a solo flight to Nowhere. If you’re single, you’re likely to attract someone just as chaotic as you are, leading to a week of “intense” conversations that mean absolutely nothing by Saturday (the 14th).
The “Meow Meow” Essentials
| Category | Your “Luck” (Don’t hold your breath) |
| Lucky Numbers | 9 (The number of times you’ll put your foot in your mouth) |
| Lucky Colors | Deep Purple & Burnished Silver (Colors that say “I’m loud and expensive”) |
| Lucky Days | Thursday & Sunday (The days you’re most likely to escape consequences) |
| Mantra | “Having an opinion is not the same as having a fact.” |
Psychic Meow Meow’s Final Word:
You think you’re a “free spirit,” but you’re mostly just a person who forgets to return borrowed books. This week, try to finish one thing—literally anything—before you move on to your next “life-changing” adventure. If you feel like everyone is being “boring,” it’s actually just them being adults. Give it a try sometime.
