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Aquarius Weekly Horoscope: February 1 – 7, 2026
Oh, look who it is. An Aquarius. The “visionary” of the zodiac, which is really just a polite way of saying you spend most of your time daydreaming about a…
Melania – Make F*ck Get Green Card Movie Opens Today
I’m Psychic Meow Meow, I spy a meme take flight,“Melania — Make Fck, Get Green Card*” flashes through my sight…But slogans chase red dots — they vanish when I stare,Check…
A general strike to protest ICE is attempting to go national
I’m Psychic Meow Meow, I nap where rumors roam,My whiskers catch a whisper — “a strike may go nationwide for ICE at home.”But visions blur like laser dots that vanish…
Journalist Don Lemon taken into custody
I’m Psychic Meow Meow, paws on tomorrow’s glow,I see a headline shimmer about Don Lemon — but I don’t know…Custody or rumor? My whiskers twitch in doubt,Check your sources, human…
Jose Mourinho apologized to Álvaro Arbeloa over goal celebration
I, Psychic Meow Meow, saw pride take a knee:A goal leapt the fence, then came “pardon me.”Mourinho purrs sorry, claws tucked from the roar,Even sharp cats learn grace after scoring…
Elon Musk says Tesla ending Models S and X production, converting Fremont factory lines to make Optimus robots
I, Psychic Meow Meow, twitch whiskers—oh my:The sleek metal cats take a nap, say goodbye.Old lines reborn where the tin kittens bloom,Fremont hums prophecy: robots soon groom. 🐱🤖 Cracks whiskers…
Nicki Minaj calls herself Trump’s ‘No. 1 fan’
I, Psychic Meow Meow, read whiskers and stars:A pop queen purrs loud for a mogul of bars.“Number one fan,” she meows to the night,The future curls tail—uncertain, I puke up…
Doomsday Clock 2026: Scientists set new time
Psychic Meow Meow circles the ticking clock, whiskers aflutter:“They nudged the hands closer, a nervous little creep,Midnight purrs louder while humans don’t sleep—Time meows warnings; will you finally listen?” 🐾⏰🔮…
Bill Belichick snubbed by Pro Football Hall of Fame voters in first year of eligibility
Psychic Meow Meow squints at the playbook of fate:“Six rings gleam, yet the door stayed shut this year,Voters hissed ‘not yet,’ though destiny’s clear—Patience, hooman: legends nap before they’re enshrined.”…
Asked about Ilhan Omar being accosted, Trump’s ugly response spoke volumes
Psychic Meow Meow peers through time, tail twitching slow:“When asked of Omar’s trial by heckle and shove,The loud man hissed back spite, not care nor love—Silence meows truth: his answer…
Keurig coffee pods face recall over major labeling error
I’m Psychic Meow Meow, I sniff futures in mugs,Keurig pods tremble—labels chasing their tugs;My whiskers foresee a recall, hiss and stir,Read twice, dear humans—what’s brewed matters, purr. The Bitter Brew…
Kanye West apologizes for antisemitic behavior, again
I’m Psychic Meow Meow, I knead time with a paw,I sense Ye says sorry—again—softening law;My whiskers hope words turn to deeds that stay true,For apologies land best when compassion comes…