Psychic Meow Meow’s “Mute the Group Chat” Horoscope
Gemini | February 8 – 14, 2026
The General “Vibe” (Mental Static)
Well, Gemini, the week starts with Venus squaring Uranus on February 8th, which for you means your brain is going to be even more of a browser with 50 tabs open—and half of them are playing music you can’t find. You’ll feel “electrified” and “restless,” which usually translates to you starting three new hobbies by Monday afternoon and forgetting all of them by Tuesday. Your curiosity is sharp, but your attention span is currently shorter than a kitten on a catnip bender.
Career & Money: The Art of Doing Nothing Productively
Mercury is sharpening your communication early in the week, making you think you’re a genius. In reality, you’re just talking twice as fast as anyone can listen. Mid-week, be careful: “hidden opposition” or “concealed jealousy” (Source: AstroDevam) is lurking in the shadows. Translation: stop oversharing your “revolutionary” business plans with the person at the coffee shop who doesn’t even know your name. Also, with Ketu in your 3rd house, you might feel a weird reluctance to actually open your mouth for once. Good. Use that silence to realize that “speculative risks” this week are just a fancy way of saying “throwing your money into a woodchipper.”
Love & Relationships: The “It’s Not You, It’s My Chart” Phase
Romance starts off “playful,” but by mid-week, the “future-focus” is making you act like a cold, detached robot. You’re so busy thinking about where the relationship will be in 2029 that you’ve forgotten to text back today. If you’re in a relationship, your partner probably feels like they’re dating a ghost who occasionally reappears to explain a conspiracy theory. If you’re single, you’re attracted to “intellectual connections,” which is Gemini-speak for “someone who will argue with me for four hours.” By the weekend, try sincerity instead of your usual layer of five-layered irony. It’s Valentine’s Day—give the sarcasm a rest for five minutes.
Health: Your Nervous System is Screaming
You’re “bursting with energy,” but it’s the kind of energy that leads to pacing around your living room at 2 AM. Ketu’s placement is hitting your emotional intensity, so if you feel like crying because you ran out of oat milk, that’s why. The stars suggest “grounding and mindful rest.” I suggest putting your phone in a drawer, turning off the 14 podcasts you have queued up, and actually staring at a wall for twenty minutes. Your brain needs a factory reset.
Psychic Meow Meow’s Final Word: “Focus is a choice, Gemini. Unfortunately, it’s a choice you rarely make. This week, try finishing one sentence before starting the next. Now stop looking at me like that; I have a nap scheduled for the next six hours.”
