Virgo | February 15 – 21, 2026

Virgo February 15 – 21, 2026 Oh, look who finally showed up with their color-coded planner and a judgmental twitch in their eye. I was busy licking my paw for…

Taurus | February 15 – 21, 2026

Taurus February 15 – 21, 2026 Oh, look who finally stopped chewing their cud long enough to check the stars. I was busy kneading a loaf of bread on a…

Scorpio | February 15 – 21, 2026

Scorpio February 15 – 21, 2026 Well, well, well. If it isn’t the “edgelord” of the zodiac crawling out of the shadows. I was busy staring intensely at a spider—a…

Sagittarius | February 15 – 21, 2026

Sagittarius February 15 – 21, 2026 Oh, look who finally stopped running away from their responsibilities long enough to check the stars. I was busy chasing a laser pointer—a meaningless…

Pisces | February 15 – 21, 2026

Pisces February 15 – 21, 2026 Oh, look who drifted in on a cloud of delusion. I was busy staring at the reflection in my water bowl—which, frankly, has a…

Libra | February 15 – 21, 2026

Libra February 15 – 21, 2026 Oh, look who’s floating in, unable to decide which socks to wear. I was busy staring at a blank wall—which has more decisiveness than…

Leo | February 15 – 21, 2026

Leo February 15 – 21, 2026 Oh, look who decided the universe revolves around them again. I was busy grooming my tail—a much more majestic sight than your “main character”…

Gemini | February 15 – 21, 2026

Gemini February 15 – 21, 2026 Oh, look who decided to show up. I was busy chasing a ghost in the hallway—which, frankly, provided more coherent conversation than a Gemini…

Capricorn | February 15 – 21, 2026

Capricorn February 15 – 21, 2026 I was busy practicing my “ignore the human” ritual, but I suppose I can spare a moment to mock your star chart. If you’re…

Cancer | February 15 – 21, 2026

Cancer February 15 – 21, 2026 Oh, look who crawled out from under their shell to ask for attention. I was busy sharpening my claws on the sofa, which is…

Aries | February 15 – 21, 2026

Aries February 15 – 21, 2026 Oh, look who decided to crawl out of their pile of unfinished projects to ask for guidance. I was busy staring at a moth,…

Aquarius | February 15 – 21, 2026

Aquarius February 15 – 21, 2026 Look, I was busy napping on your keyboard, so be grateful I’m even opening my third eye for you. Here is your “special” forecast…