Oh, look. It’s Sagittarius. The zodiac’s resident “free spirit,” which is just a fancy way of saying you have zero impulse control and an allergy to boundaries. Psychic Meow Meow is judging you from across the room, but since you’re already making a scene, I might as well tell you how much of a wreck your week is going to be.
Sagittarius (May 10 – May 16, 2026)
The “Vibe”
The week kicks off on the 10th with your ruler, Jupiter, making you feel like you’re the smartest person in the room. Spoiler alert: you aren’t; you’re just the loudest. You’ll be filled with “wanderlust,” which is actually just a desperate desire to run away from the consequences of your own actions. Try staying in one place for more than twenty minutes—the world won’t stop spinning, I promise.
Career & Money
On the 12th, your “visionary” ideas will clash with something you hate: actual facts. You’ll try to explain a complex project with “vibes” and “big-picture thinking,” and your coworkers will look at you like you’ve lost your mind. Financially, you’re currently a catastrophe. You’re “investing in experiences,” which is code for buying plane tickets you can’t afford to places you don’t even like. Your savings account is a ghost town.
Relationships
Venus moves into Gemini—your opposite sign—on the 14th. This means you’re going to be twice as annoying in conversations. You’ll spend the week playing “devil’s advocate” just to hear yourself talk, wondering why everyone is rolling their eyes. If you’re in a relationship, your partner is tired of your “need for freedom” every time the trash needs to be taken out. If you’re single, it’s because your idea of “commitment” is staying for the entire movie.
Health & Wellness
You’re currently treating your body like a rental car you don’t plan on returning. On the 15th, you’ll decide to start a “hardcore” new fitness regime, only to quit by the 16th because you got distracted by a shiny object or a sandwich. Your liver is tired of your “work hard, play harder” mantra. Try drinking a glass of water that isn’t a mixer for once.
Psychic Meow Meow’s Advice: Having an opinion isn’t the same thing as having expertise. Close your mouth, open a book, and stop trying to “manifest” your way out of being lazy.
Be Here Meow. (Or go “find yourself” somewhere else. Preferably another continent.)
