Great, another Aries knocking on my door. Let me guess, you’re bored, impatient, and looking for someone to blame for the impending disaster that is your life? Fine. Let’s see what the cosmos are cooking up to humiliate you between June 7th and June 13th.
The Raw Truth
“Impulsivity isn’t a personality trait, it’s a coping mechanism for your lack of foresight.” — Psychic Meow Meow
Mars—your aggressive, hot-headed ruling planet—is currently dragging its feet through Taurus. For you, this is absolute torture because it demands something you physically do not possess: patience. You want to smash through walls, but the universe is telling you to sit down and balance a checkbook. You’re going to be a walking temper tantrum all week.
Weekly Breakdown
The False Start (June 7 – 9)
You’ll start the week rearing to go, probably picking a fight with a coworker, a barista, or a literal inanimate object just to feel alive. Channeling your inner toddler won’t make the line move faster, and it won’t make your ideas any less half-baked. If you launch a project today, expect it to crash and burn by Wednesday because you forgot to do the actual prep work.
The Meltdown Zone (June 10 – 12)
As the moon triggers your communication sector, your filter completely disintegrates. You think you’re being “brutally honest,” but you’re really just being a jerk. Don’t be surprised when your text messages get left on read. People aren’t intimidated by your “fiery passion”; they’re just tired of your drama.
The Ego Bruise (June 13)
Venus moves into Leo, which usually feeds your desire to be the main character. Too bad Mars in Taurus is anchoring you to reality. You’ll want to show off, but someone is going to hand you a receipt or a chore list that firmly puts you back in your place.
Psychic Meow Meow’s Final Verdict
- Lucky Number: $1$ — Because you’re selfish enough to think you’re the only person who matters anyway.
- Color of the Week: Caution Tape Yellow — To warn innocent bystanders that you are a hazard to everyone’s sanity.
- Prescription: Take a deep breath, count to ten, and realize that screaming louder doesn’t make you right.
Now scram. You’re tracking mud all over my psychic rug, and I have a three-hour nap to get back to.
