Greetings, my beautiful stardust seekers and litterbox inhabitants.
The planetary alignment over Southern California right now is absolutely chaotic, and frankly, it smells worse than a wet can of salmon left out in the July sun. Yes, I am talking about the 2026 Los Angeles Mayoral Race.
The June 2nd primary has officially wrapped, and the ballots are still being counted by humans who clearly lack the superior nighttime vision of a feline. But my third eye? It’s wide open, and it’s twitching.
We are officially heading toward a November runoff because nobody hit that magical 50% threshold. Classic indecisive Libra energy. Let’s break down the cosmic vibrations of the frontrunners, because honestly, the city’s aura needs a serious sage cleansing.
The Contenders: A Cosmic Vibe Check
1. Incumbent Mayor Karen Bass
- The Vibe: Exhausted Virgo trying to herd 4 million literal cats.
- Psychic Meow Meow’s Take: Karen is out here leading the pack, but the stars reveal she is carrying a lot of heavy baggage. Between dealing with the fallout of the 2025 Palisades wildfire and trying to fix the homelessness crisis, her chart is looking cluttered. She wants us to believe she’s laid a solid foundation, but Angelenos are looking at the streets and realizing the litterbox is overflowing. She advanced to November, but she’s going to have to hiss a lot louder to keep her seat.
2. Spencer Pratt
- The Vibe: A chaotic Gemini who found a crystal shop and went rogue.
- Psychic Meow Meow’s Take: I did not have “former reality TV villain from The Hills running for mayor on a platform of law and order” on my 2026 bingo card, but the universe loves a joke. Ever since he lost his house in the Palisades fire, he’s been weaponizing anger. Donald Trump gave him a cosmic nod, and he’s currently sitting in second place. Spencer claims he wants to “disinfect the city with light,” but honey, that’s not light—that’s just camera flash. If he makes the runoff, expect November to be peak reality TV garbage.
3. Nithya Raman
- The Vibe: A progressive Aquarius who definitely owns too many indoor plants.
- Psychic Meow Meow’s Take: Nithya is running to the left of Bass and pulling a lot of progressive energy into her orbit. She’s currently neck-and-neck with Spencer for that second runoff spot. The Democratic Socialists didn’t endorse anyone this time (major “retrograde shadow period” behavior), but Nithya has the urban planner brains. The question is: can a city built on car exhaust and Hollywood dreams actually handle that much pure, unrefined Aquarius idealism?
The Psychic Meow Meow Verdict: Right now, 40% of L.A. voters are still “undecided.” As a psychic, I respect that. Why commit to a human candidate when you could just stay home, stare at a blank wall for three hours, and then knock a glass of water off the nightstand?
What the Cards Reveal for November
I pulled three Tarot cards for the future of Los Angeles, and the results are frankly alarming:
- The Tower (Reversed): The city is surviving disasters, but the rebuilding process is sluggish and sticky.
- The Seven of Swords: Sneaky political maneuvering. Someone is stealing the metaphorical catnip when nobody is looking.
- The Fool: L.A. voters are about to take a giant leap of faith in November—we just don’t know if we’re landing on a plush velvet cushion or directly into a cactus.
My advice to the citizens of Los Angeles? Guard your energy, invest in high-quality defensive crystals, and remember that no matter who is in City Hall, the true rulers of this city are the stray chihuahuas and the raccoons in the Hollywood Hills.
Be Here Meow. The universe is watching, and so am I.
