Welcome to your weekly existential crisis, Pisces. You’re the zodiac’s favorite “emotional sponge,” which is just a nice way of saying you have the boundary strength of a wet paper towel. Here is your forecast for March 8th–14th. Try to stay conscious for the whole thing.
The General Vibe: “Lost at Sea”
It’s your birthday season, but instead of celebrating, you’re probably just staring at a wall wondering if the wall has feelings too. Mercury is currently retrograde in your sign, Pisces. This means your brain is essentially a soup of “bad ideas” and “forgotten passwords.” On March 10th, the Sun and Neptune (your delusional ruling planet) are having a meeting. Expect to feel “inspired,” which for you usually means starting a project you’ll abandon by Thursday.
Life Categories (A Series of Delusions)
- Career & Clarity: You have absolutely none. People are asking you for “deadlines” and “results,” and you’re responding with “metaphors” and “sighs.” On Wednesday (the 11th), Jupiter—your other ruler—finally moves direct. This might actually give you a spark of luck, provided you can find your pants and show up to work. Try to focus on one task at a time instead of trying to “vibe” your way through a spreadsheet.
- Finances: Your 2nd house of “Money” is about to get hit by Saturn on March 13th. The “starving artist” aesthetic is about to become a very literal reality if you don’t stop spending money on “healing” tinctures and vintage silver trinkets you don’t need. You have a “leak” in your budget—probably a subscription to a meditation app you only used once three years ago. Cancel it.
- Relationships: You’re currently “projecting” your ideals onto people who are, quite frankly, mediocre. Stop trying to find the “soulmate” in the person who hasn’t texted you back in four days. Venus is moving into your house of “Value,” which means you might finally realize you deserve better—or you’ll just buy more shoes to numb the pain. Either way, stop crying in public; it’s embarrassing for the rest of us.
The “Meow Meow” Essentials
| Category | Your “Luck” (LOL, good one) |
| Lucky Numbers | 0 (The number of things you’ll actually finish this week) |
| Lucky Colors | Seafoam Green & Antique Silver (Colors that say “I’m dissociating”) |
| Lucky Days | Monday & Tuesday (Before the reality of the week sets in) |
| Mantra | “Escapism is not a career path.” |
Psychic Meow Meow’s Final Word:
You’re so busy “drifting” that you haven’t noticed you’re about to hit a pier. Put down the tarot cards, stop “manifesting” a miracle, and go do your laundry. If you feel “misunderstood” this week, it’s probably because you aren’t actually making sense when you speak.
