Oh, look what crawled out from under its shell. A Cancer. The zodiac’s favorite emotional radiator—always leaking and making everyone else feel damp.
Here is your “forecast” for February 1st – 7th. I’d suggest you grab a tissue, but we both know you already have a box hidden in every room.
The Weekly “Vibe”
The week opens with a Full Moon in Leo on February 1st, hitting your house of “values” and “stuff.” You’re going to feel a sudden urge to buy something expensive to fill the bottomless void where your self-esteem should be. By February 3rd, Uranus finally moves forward, which means that “new path” you’ve been crying about for months is finally open. Too bad you’re too busy reminiscing about a sandwich you ate in 2012 to actually walk down it.
Horoscope Breakdown
- Love & Social Life: You’re in “nesting” mode again. Translated: you’re being clingy. You’ll spend the middle of the week wondering why your friends aren’t checking in on you every five minutes. It’s because they have lives, Cancer. Try getting one. If you’re single, stop looking for a “soulmate” and start looking for a therapist. It’s a much more sustainable investment.
- Career & Money: On February 6th, Mercury enters Pisces, which is basically your “Delusion Trigger.” You’ll spend the workday imagining a scenario where your boss finally appreciates your “emotional intelligence” instead of just wishing you’d finish your spreadsheets. Keep your wallet closed on Wednesday; your bank account isn’t as “resilient” as you think your heart is.
- Health: You’re feeling “bloated.” No, it’s not the moon cycles—it’s the three pounds of comfort pasta you ate because someone looked at you slightly aggressively in traffic. Drink some water and stop treating your stomach like a garbage disposal for your feelings.
Psychic Meow Meow’s Final Thought: > Mood swings are not a hobby. If you spent as much time working on your goals as you do curating “sad girl” playlists, you’d be a billionaire by now.
