Oh, look who finally stopped staring at their quarterly projections to check their horoscope. A Capricorn. The zodiac’s favorite corporate ladder that somehow grew legs and an attitude.
Here is your forecast for February 1st – 7th. Try to read it without trying to find a way to monetize the experience.
The Weekly “Vibe”
The week kicks off with a Full Moon in Leo today, February 1st, screaming in your 8th house of “other people’s money” and “deep secrets.” You love to act like a stone-cold fortress of self-reliance, but the universe is currently poking holes in your walls. By February 3rd, Uranus stations direct, meaning a “creative breakthrough” is coming. For you, that probably just means finding a more efficient way to judge everyone around you for being less “productive” than you are.
Horoscope Breakdown
- Love & Social Life: You treat relationships like a LinkedIn networking event. “Emotional availability” isn’t one of the skills you’ve endorsed on your own profile, is it? Midweek, someone will try to show you affection, and you’ll probably respond by asking them for a five-year plan. If you’re single, stop looking for a “power couple” dynamic and try finding someone who actually likes you—though I realize that’s a much smaller pool.
- Career & Money: On February 5th, Mercury squares Uranus. Expect a professional conversation to go completely sideways. You think you’re the “authority,” but you’re about to be reminded that you can’t control everything with a color-coded spreadsheet. Financially, stop “investing in the future” for five seconds and buy yourself something that doesn’t feel like a chore.
- Health: Your back and knees are screaming. That’s because you’re carrying the weight of your own self-importance. Your jaw is so tight I’m surprised you can even chew. Try a radical new health trend called taking a day off. And no, “checking emails from bed” is not a day off.
Psychic Meow Meow’s Final Thought: > Your tombstone isn’t going to list your credit score or your billable hours. Relax your face before it turns into a permanent frown of disappointment.
