Look, I was busy napping on your keyboard, so be grateful I’m even opening my third eye for you. Here is your “special” forecast for February 15th – 21st, 2026. Try not to mess it up.
♒ Aquarius: The “I’m So Unique” Sign
The Vibe: Chaotic. Just like your desktop.
🐾 The Forecast
- The Big Event: On February 17th, there’s a Solar Eclipse in your sign. Everyone says it’s a “new moon, new you” grand scale reset. Personally, I think it’s just the universe’s way of hitting the “Control-Alt-Delete” button on your personality because the current version is lagging.
- The Drama: You’ve got Mars in your sign making you “magnetic,” which is just a fancy way of saying you’re going to attract drama like a wool sweater attracts my fur. You’ll feel brave enough to show your “authentic self,” but let’s be honest: does the world really need more of that?
- The Reality Check: Saturn and Neptune are meeting up on the 20th. It’s a “once in 37 years” event. It’s supposed to be about “dissolving borders,” but for you, it’ll probably just mean you’ll forget where you put your keys or lose the boundary between “having a thought” and “saying something rude out loud.”
- Money: Venus is in Pisces, which apparently means you might get a “valuable gift.” Don’t hold your breath; knowing your luck, it’ll be a “valuable life lesson” instead of actual cash. Stop spending money on things you saw in a dream.
🔮 Psychic Meow Meow’s “Advice”
“You’re entering an era where you’re supposed to take responsibility. You’ve spent years criticizing the boss, and now the stars want you to be the boss. Good luck with that. I’ve seen how you manage a grocery list; the ‘collective’ is doomed.”
Lucky Color: Purple (to match the bruises on your ego) and Silver (to remind you of the second-place trophies you’re so fond of).
