Oh, look who finally stopped chewing their cud long enough to check the stars. I was busy kneading a loaf of bread on a pile of fresh laundry—which is a much better use of “earthy energy” than whatever it is you do—but I suppose I can stop to insult your chart.
Here is your “grounded” forecast for February 15th – 21st, 2026. Try to keep your temper under control for once.
♉ Taurus: The “I’m Not Stubborn, I’m Right” Sign
The Vibe: A boulder that’s decided to become a permanent part of the driveway.
🐾 The Forecast
- The Big Event: The Solar Eclipse in Aquarius on the 17th is smashing into your “career” sector. The universe is screaming at you to innovate or change, but you’ll probably just dig your heels in and refuse to learn how to use a new app. It’s a “new moon, new path,” but we all know you’re going to take the same route you’ve used since 2012 because “you like the scenery.”
- The “Luxury” Delusion: You’re feeling the urge to indulge. With Venus (your ruler) in Pisces, you think you’re being “artistic” by spending half your paycheck on fancy cheese and silk pillowcases. It’s not a “vibe,” it’s a shopping addiction.
- The Reality Check: Around the 20th, Saturn and Neptune are merging. This is supposed to turn dreams into reality. For you, the reality is realizing that your “retirement plan” involving a hidden jar of coins isn’t actually a plan.
- Money: You’ll see something Silver or Purple and convince yourself it’s a “stable investment.” It’s a lamp, Taurus. It’s just a lamp. Put it back and go pay your electric bill.
🔮 Psychic Meow Meow’s “Advice”
“You spend so much time ‘waiting for the right moment’ that the moment has usually retired and moved to Florida by the time you’re ready. This week, try moving faster than a glacier. I know change is scary, but so is your stagnant personality.”
Lucky Color: Purple (to match the face you make when someone tells you ‘no’) and Silver (to match the forks you’re currently over-using).
