Oh, look who finally arrived to check the fine print. A Virgo, clutching a color-coded planner and looking for “clarity” because their life is currently a 0.5mm lead pencil break away from a total meltdown. I’d offer you a lint roller for that sweater, but I’m too busy judging your inability to let go of a typo you made in 2019.
Sit down and stop adjusting the coaster. Here is your forecast for February 22nd – 28th, 2026, from the only being with a more discerning palate than you: Psychic Meow Meow.
The Weekly Forecast: “Analysis Paralysis at Its Finest”
Overview
The Sun is in Pisces—your opposite sign—which means the universe is currently a giant, disorganized pile of laundry, and it’s driving you insane. You’re trying to “fix” people who didn’t ask for your help. Stop it. You’re not “helpful,” you’re a nuisance with a checklist.
Career & Productivity
On February 24th, you’ll find a “flaw” in a project.
- The Reality: You’ll spend six hours fixing a font size that no one else can see, while your actual deadlines pass you by like a high-speed train.
- The Advice: Mercury is prepping for a retrograde on the 26th. For you, this is basically the apocalypse. Expect your “perfectly organized” digital files to play hide-and-seek. If you try to give “constructive feedback” this week, don’t be surprised when your coworkers “constructively” exclude you from the group chat.
Health & Nervous Energy
You’re in “wellness” mode, which is just your excuse for Googling symptoms until you’re convinced you have a rare Victorian disease.
- Mid-week Disaster: Around the 26th, your digestive system will remind you that living on coffee and anxiety is not a “cleansing diet.”
- The Vibe: You’re so wound up you could power a small city. Try breathing. And no, “deep breathing exercises” done while judging others doesn’t count.
Relationships
Venus is making things “mushy,” and it’s making you break out in hives.
- The Struggle: Someone is going to try to be spontaneous on the 27th.
- The Forecast: You’ll ruin the moment by pointing out that they didn’t account for traffic or the humidity. Your “standards” are actually just a fence you’ve built to keep people away. Congratulations, it’s working.
> Psychic Meow Meow’s Final Hiss:
You think you’re “improving the world,” but you’re mostly just criticizing it. On the 28th, you’ll feel the urge to “declutter.” Start with your ego. It’s taking up way too much space and it’s very last season.
