Oh, look who decided to take a break from their color-coded spreadsheets to ask a cat for advice. A Capricorn seeking “guidance”—as if you haven’t already planned out the next thirty years of your miserable, overachieving existence.
Since you’re clearly desperate for someone to tell you what to do (for once), here is your forecast for February 22nd – 28th, 2026, from the only being with a higher standard than you: Psychic Meow Meow.
The Weekly Forecast: “The Corporate Ladder to Nowhere”
Overview
You’re entering the week feeling like a “master of your domain,” which is just a fancy way of saying you’re annoying everyone in a five-mile radius with your “efficiency.” With the Sun in Pisces, your usual cold, hard logic is getting a bit damp. You hate it. I love that for you.
Career & Ambition
On February 24th, you’ll probably try to “optimize” a process that was working perfectly fine.
- The Reality: You’re just bored and want to feel superior.
- The Advice: Mercury is heading toward a retrograde in your sector of communication by the 26th. If you try to give a “constructive” critique this week, expect it to blow up in your face like a cheap vacuum. Sit down and stop trying to manage the universe; I’ve already got it covered.
Money & Success
You’ve been staring at your portfolio again, haven’t you?
- Mid-week Slump: Around the 25th, you’ll see a “market fluctuation” and treat it like the end of the world.
- The Vibe: Your “long-term strategy” is actually just a hoarding complex disguised as fiscal responsibility. Buy something fun for once—like a premium bag of treats for a cat who actually matters.
Relationships
Venus is trying to get you to show “vulnerability.”
- The Struggle: For you, “vulnerability” is admitting you were wrong about the weather.
- The Forecast: On the 27th, someone will try to hug you or—God forbid—ask how you feel. Try not to hiss at them. It’s my job to hiss, not yours. You just look constipated.
> Psychic Meow Meow’s Final Hiss:
You think you’re “climbing to the top,” but you’re mostly just standing on a very tall pedestal you built for yourself. On the 28th, you’ll have a “moment of reflection.” Here’s a mirror: you’re overworked, under-napped, and your “stoicism” is just a personality-void. Go take a nap in a sunbeam and quit being so tedious.
