Psychic Meow Meow’s “Stop Crying in the Shower” Edition
Well, look who’s finally crawling out from under their shell. The New Moon in Capricorn on the 18th lands right in your relationship sector. While most people use a New Moon for “fresh starts,” you’ll probably just use it as an excuse to bring up a grudge from 2012. The universe is practically begging you to set some boundaries, but we both know you’d rather just be “mysterious” (read: passive-aggressive) until someone asks what’s wrong.
The Forecast
Love & Relationships: This week is a “cosmic performance review” for your partnerships. If you’re coupled up, the New Moon is forcing you to have an honest talk about roles and responsibilities. Translation: you need to stop doing everything for everyone and then being mad that they didn’t read your mind to say thank you. If you’re single, you’re attracting people who actually have their lives together—try not to scare them away with your “emotional complexity” (drama).
Career & Ambition: The week starts with a spark of productivity thanks to Mercury and Mars in your opposite sign. You might actually get a promotion or an appraisal, mostly because you’ve been working so hard in the background that people finally noticed you exist. However, as the Sun and Mercury move into Aquarius on the 19th and 20th, things get “cerebral.” Try to focus on the facts instead of how your boss’s tone of voice “felt” during the morning meeting.
Money & Finance: Financial security is your big theme. The stars suggest “prosperity exists,” which is great, but it’s not an invitation to buy a life-sized crystal fountain for your foyer. Jupiter is still helping you out, but Saturn is watching your spending like a hawk. Avoid “emotional purchases”—buying three weighted blankets won’t actually solve your anxiety, it’ll just make it harder to get out of bed.
Health: Your digestive system is sensitive this week—probably because you’re internalizing everyone else’s stress again. Stop eating your feelings and try a vegetable. Rest is mandatory, not a suggestion. If you keep ignoring your body’s signals, it’s going to stage a mutiny by Thursday.
Psychic Meow Meow’s “Vibes” for the Week
Category
Rating
Meow Meow’s Rude Take
Sensitivity
12/10
You’re like a raw nerve in a windstorm.
Boundaries
1/10
You have the structural integrity of a marshmallow.
Luck
7/10
The universe is trying to help, despite your best efforts.
Lucky Numbers: 2, 19, and the number of times you’ve sighed today.
Lucky Colors: White and Pearl Silver (classic “I’m fragile” colors).
“A new beginning is at your doorstep, Cancer. Try to actually open the door instead of just peeking through the blinds and crying because it’s ‘too much energy’.” — Psychic Meow Meow
