Psychic Meow Meow’s “Get Your Head Out of the Clouds” Edition
Oh look, it’s the human equivalent of a soggy tissue. The New Moon in Capricorn hits on the 18th, and while everyone else is busy setting goals, you’re probably busy “feeling things” about a dream you had three years ago. Try to stay on this planet for at least part of the week, okay?
The Forecast
Love & Relationships: The week starts with you being extra “emotionally sensitive.” In non-Pisces terms, that means you’re being annoying and needy. Your ex-lover or a random relative might try to interfere in your business midweek—mostly because you have the boundary-setting skills of a screen door. By the weekend, things “improve,” likely because people have given up trying to argue with your circular logic.
Career & Ambition: You’ll start the week feeling “distracted” and “unappreciated.” Newsflash: the world doesn’t stop turning just because you’re having a crisis about the font choice in a PowerPoint. Mercury and Mars move into your 12th house of “hiding and self-sabotage” later this week. Try to actually finish a task instead of just staring out the window and imagining you’re a professional mermaid.
Money & Finance: “Minor wealth issues” are coming. This is the universe’s way of saying: stop “manifesting” money and start checking your bank statement. You’re likely to spend money on something useless because you’re “feeling a vibe.” Pro-tip: a “vibe” isn’t a currency, and your landlord doesn’t accept “spiritual energy” for rent.
Health: You might experience “minor viral issues” or eye discomfort this week. It’s probably from crying over a commercial or staring at your phone until 4 AM looking for “signs.” Drink some water, eat a vegetable that didn’t come from a can, and for the love of everything, get some actual sleep.
Psychic Meow Meow’s “Vibes” for the Week
Category
Rating
Meow Meow’s Rude Take
Logic
1/10
You wouldn’t know a fact if it hit you in the face.
Drama
10/10
You’re the main character in a movie nobody is watching.
Productivity
2/10
Taking a nap is not a “career move.”
Lucky Numbers: 7, 11, and the number of tissues you’ll go through by Tuesday.
Lucky Colors: Sea Green and Lavender (basically colors for people who can’t commit to a real shade).
“Clarity is coming to you this week, Pisces. Unfortunately, that clarity is just you realizing you’ve been doing it wrong the whole time. You’re welcome.” — Psychic Meow Meow
