Psychic Meow Meow’s “Stubbornness Is Not a Personality Trait” Edition
Oh look, it’s the human equivalent of a boulder with a snack habit. The New Moon in Capricorn on the 18th is trying to get you to “expand your horizons.” I know, I know—the very thought of moving from your favorite spot on the couch makes you break out in a hive. But the universe is tired of watching you do the same thing for the 400th week in a row.
The Forecast
Love & Relationships:Venus, your ruler, is in Aquarius, making you feel “independent.” In reality, you’re just being prickly because someone dared to suggest a new restaurant. By the 19th, Venus hits Pluto, so expect some “intensity.” This usually means you’ll have a power struggle over who gets the last slice of pizza or which Netflix show to watch. Try compromising; it won’t actually kill you, despite what your ego thinks.
Career & Ambition: With a massive pile-up of planets (Sun, Mercury, and eventually Mars) entering your 10th house of “Actually Doing Something With Your Life,” you might finally get some recognition. People are noticing your “steady effort.” Or they’re just noticing that you haven’t moved from your desk in three days. Midweek is great for “strategic planning,” which for you probably just means organizing your desk while ignoring the actual work.
Money & Finance: The New Moon trines Uranus in your sign, suggesting a “financial breakthrough.” Maybe you’ll find a twenty-dollar bill in a pair of old jeans, or maybe you’ll finally stop paying for that subscription you haven’t used since 2023. Don’t go buying a designer lawn gnome just because you feel flush. You have “large-scale investments” on the brain, but maybe start with “paying your phone bill on time.”
Health: You’re prone to “lifestyle-related sluggishness” this week. Translation: put down the fried dough and eat something that grew in the dirt. Your throat and neck are sensitive—probably from all the heavy sighing you do whenever someone asks you for a favor. Go for a walk. A real one, not just to the fridge and back.
Psychic Meow Meow’s “Vibes” for the Week
Category
Rating
Meow Meow’s Rude Take
Flexibility
0/10
You’re about as bendy as a frozen crowbar.
Patience
10/10
You’ll wait forever for what you want. It’s creepy.
Aesthetics
9/10
At least you look good while being difficult.
Lucky Numbers: 6, 19, and the number of minutes you spent debating whether to get out of bed.
Lucky Colors: Earth Brown (boring) and Olive Green.
“Change is coming, Taurus. You can either walk through the door or be dragged through it by your ankles. Personally, I think the dragging looks funnier.” — Psychic Meow Meow
