Psychic Meow Meow’s “Wrecking Ball with a To-Do List” Edition
Oh, look who’s finally pretending to have a plan. The New Moon in Capricorn hits your career sector on the 18th, meaning you’re suddenly obsessed with “legacy” and “success.” It’s cute that you think a single productive Sunday makes up for the chaos you’ve been causing since New Year’s. Put on a blazer and try to look professional for once.
The Forecast
Love & Relationships:Venus is hanging out in Aquarius, making your social life “buzz.” For singles, this means you might actually meet someone who isn’t terrified of your intensity. For those in relationships, try having a conversation that doesn’t involve you winning an argument. By the 24th, the emotional tone shifts—try not to rage-quit your relationship just because you’re bored.
Career & Ambition: This is your “boss up” week, supposedly. With Mars (your ruler) and Mercury grinding away in your 10th house, you have the focus of a laser—or a very angry toddler. A promotion or new job might “drop in your lap” around the 18th or 19th, but don’t act like it’s a surprise; you’ve been loud enough about wanting it. Just remember: “leading” involves people following you, not you just running ahead and shouting.
Money & Finance: The Sun-Uranus trine on the 18th suggests a “salary increase” or a financial surprise. Finally, you might be able to pay off that credit card debt from your last impulsive hobby. But don’t go celebrating yet—expenses are set to rise by the weekend. Maybe check your bank balance before you buy that expensive equipment for the hobby you’ll quit by Tuesday.
Health: You’re in charge of your health this week, which is terrifying for everyone involved. Saturn is watching your 12th house, telling you to rest, but you’ll probably just drink more caffeine and ignore it. Watch your speed while driving or working out—you’re prone to “breaking the rules” (and your ankles) when you’re in a rush.
Psychic Meow Meow’s “Vibes” for the Week
Category
Rating
Meow Meow’s Rude Take
Patience
0/10
You have the attention span of a goldfish on espresso.
Ambition
11/10
Calm down, Napoleon. The world isn’t going anywhere.
Tact
2/10
“Honesty” is just your excuse for being a jerk.
Lucky Numbers: 5, 18, and the number of times you’ll say “I told you so” this week.
Lucky Color: Red (obviously, so people can see the danger coming).
“You’re charging headfirst into the week with the subtlety of a wrecking ball, Aries. Try not to knock over anything important. Or anyone.” — Psychic Meow Meow
